Posts tagged room

Here I am, in the same room you once filled with your love through thunderstorms and summer evenings. The walls are the same, the bed hasn’t changed and yet none of it feels how it used to. I’ve moved to a different city since, met new people, had new experiences, but now I’m back and I am inevitably reminded of you, my first love.

Had someone asked me at the time, I would have answered that I undoubtedly loved you. Now, I’m not so sure. What is love? How convenient that it is an emotion one can’t describe. I’ll try. It is an uncontrollable force that attacks at the most unexpected moments, usually when one is completely unprepared and unwilling to accept it. It brings with it a series of emotions, an excitement that no other happening can inflict, and its measure is loss. This is the same process for all lovers, sometimes ending sooner than expected, sometimes lasting longer than one would usually wish for. Either way, when one is in love, their surroundings suddenly become much more beautiful. They fall asleep with a smile on their face and wake up with it still lingering. 

I will come back here, bring me back when i’m old. I want to lay here, forever in the cold. I might be cold but i’m just skin and bones, and i’ll never love England more than when covered in snow. I wrote my name in your book, only God knows why and I bet you that he cracked a smile. And i’m clearing all the crap out of my room trying desperately to find out what it is that makes me blue. And I wrote an epic letter to you, and it’s 22 pages front and back but it’s too good to be used. And I tried to be a girl who likes to be used, i’m too good for that- there’s a mind under this hat and I called them all and told them i’ve got to move.